Migraine emotional symptoms: the invisible rollercoaster

The emotional rollercoaster of migraines

Today I get rudely yanked out of sleep with an excruciating migraine! My body is shaken to the core from debilitating headache and nausea. I am feeling hot and my heart is racing. The clock says 4:50 am. Every move is painful. No position is comfortable.  I am trying not to feel all of the migraine’s emotional symptoms. My husband looks at me with a mixture of concern, sympathy, and tenderness. “I will bring you some hot tea and a snack to take with your meds,” he says calmly, familiar with this unfortunate routine. I take my acute care med with a glass of water. My stomach is spasmed during migraines and will not digest any pills. So, I usually drink some warm tea or broth with a cracker to settle nausea and get the GI tract to at least try and digest the medication. Migraine emotional symptoms are real. The tsunami of those emotions is happening inside of me right now. Anger. Defeat. Sadness about all the plans I had for today that I have to modify or cancel. Enduring pain until the meds kick in consumes an exuberant amount of energy, so I anticipate the usual extreme tiredness, weakness, and lethargy afterward that lasts many hours. Will the meds kick in? A sense of failure, inability to predict any day’s outcomes, and hopelessness all slam into me at once. I feel anxious and afraid.

Migraine emotional symptoms and their impact on the patient

While migraine is a complex neurological condition that has a multitude of physical symptoms, it also comes with an invisible emotional rollercoaster that has a deep and profound impact on the sufferer.

Here are some sobering facts about migraine emotional symptoms:

• Depression affects almost 80% of migraine sufferers at one point or another.
• About 25% of patients with migraine HAVE depression and 50% of patients have anxiety.
• Migraine remains second among the world’s causes of disability and first cause of disability among young women according to the findings published in The Journal of Headache and Pain.
• In the United States, the prevalence of migraine is ≈ 12% and peaks in middle life (30-49 years of age), impacting patients in their prime working years.
• After the pain is gone, 80% of migraine sufferers experience postdrome symptoms such as extreme tiredness, fatigue, weariness, confusion, neck stiffness, vertigo, and even euphoria.

While I am riding the rollercoaster from pain to extreme exhaustion and hopelessness, most of this is invisible to the outside eye. As a child with severe migraines, I was told by teachers I was just making it up. “But you look totally fine! You should just finish the day in school,” they would say, delaying my treatment, all the while I was dying inside from pain. Being told you are lying while you are in agony or pain takes an emotional toll too. The invisible emotional rollercoaster of migraines is often hidden by patients out of fear of judgment or persecution. A poll performed by Ipsos showed that while most managers (57 percent) view migraines as a good reason for missing work, 38 percent were less amenable, saying migraines either only sometimes justify calling in sick or don’t justify it at all.  No wonder 62% of migraine sufferers downplayed their symptoms with co-workers or classmates. The fear of being looked at as a non-performer, anxiety over missing work, and lack of sympathy and understanding from bosses, teachers, and society at large only add to the already complex set of emotions surrounding our migraine experience.

Coping with migraine emotional symptoms: my tried-and-true strategies

But back to my 4:50 am migraine attack! 35 years of this experience thought me that strong emotions are part of this migraine deal, but they don’t define me or my ultimate outcome. I also learned that migraine emotional symptoms will pass too and give place to the next set of feelings. I learned some life-saving techniques to deal with the worst when it comes. Shifting things is the essence of my formula!

Here are my tried-and-true methods for slowing and smoothing this rollercoaster ride.

Think of it as going from Insanity Ride at Vegas Stratosphere to the kid-level merry-go-round.

You must get in touch with your breathing!

I use the belly breathing technique to get in touch with my body and start directing my attention away from the throbbing pain. Start by breathing in slowly through your nose. Feel your belly expand. Then your chest. Then breathing out slowly through your mouth.  You can count until 4 on the inhale and then again until 4 on the exhale. You could make exhales longer too. After just 2 minutes of belly breathing, I feel a little less nauseous. While the pain is obviously still there, it is not as prominent as it was before I started this technique.

Visualize healing and relief through color:

• Icy blue for the head/neck/face area. I start visualizing my head and neck area first, listening to what images come to mind. Often, I see those areas as red or dark purple and radiating heat. I then visualize the cooling blue gel or breeze coming in, gently soothing those areas and getting them to cool down and return to a normal state. I am visualizing these areas being healed, and calming down.
• Green for the stomach area. Start by visualizing your stomach area and let any colors, words, or images come naturally. Even if nothing comes, it is not a big deal, because sometimes the intensity of pain and nausea is so high, it is harder to begin visualizing things at first. Envision a soothing cool green gel starting to cover your tummy area, inside, outside, and anywhere that feels like it needs it. I often see the inside of my stomach being covered by this green jelly and feel some relief from nausea.
• You can get creative with this technique. Cold cucumber slices over eyes? Warming yellow color for a stiff neck? Soft white color for any anxiousness around the chest area? Anything that works for you visually will calm your body and help it start the recovery process.

Shift your focus to a different body part

Sometimes, I could not do breathing and color healing right away because my body was so uncomfortable, I felt I could not find a restful spot for one second. I used a different technique during those days by directing my attention to my feet! That is right. Migraine sufferers often have cold feet and hands. You can start rubbing your feet to get the circulation going. It simultaneously directs your focus to a different body part and away from your head and nausea. Our minds can not focus on many things at the same time. Find your favorite lotion with a smell that doesn’t bother you during migraines or a fragrance-free one. Start the foot massage in a circular motion, working the bottoms of your feet, gently pulling on your toes, and working a little around the ankles. I use this CBD lotion and while it smells wonderful even during a migraine to me, it relieves some of my joint pain and helps me relax while I am dealing with all the emotions that are running through me during the attack.

Seek emotional support from others

As I am battling migraine, my inner dialog at times goes haywire. “You are not going to get anything done today, again!” “Why is happening today? I have been eating well, sleeping 8 hours, and walking.” “Will my daughter get worried like the last time when she sees me like this? What kind of trauma am I inflicting on her!” “What if I can’t manage this migraine this time?” “I just can’t get a break!” Pay attention to your inner dialog. Migraine feels isolating because it is hard to explain to others what it is like to go live with this disease. Unless someone experienced migraines, it might be hard for them to relate to or fully understand the burden of migraines. Yet, reaching out to others for support is critical to prevent depression, anxiety, and feelings of hopelessness from spiraling out of control. I can not emphasize it enough! Seek support from those that love and understand you. Educate them about your condition when you don’t have a migraine, so they know how to best support you when you really need it. If you don’t have your family close by, join a migraine support group near you. There are many migraine communities where you can find so much kinship, understanding, and empathy! My family is incredibly supportive of me as I battle this debilitating condition. I am fortunate beyond belief to have such an encouraging group of people around me. I don’t know what I would do without them. Sometimes, one hug from my daughter is all I need to cheer up during the attack. Sometimes, I need to cry and pour out all my fears while my husband just listens and holds me. Understand your needs and what makes you feel better. Reach out and ask for help.

Use water therapy for emotional healing

Migraines make everything clenched and spasmed. Once I feel some pain relief, I often use water therapy to make myself feel less gloomy and anxious. By making your body more relaxed, you will make yourself feel better too. Take a warm pleasant shower with a few lavender oil drops at the bottom. The shower steam lets the oil rise and you can breathe in this wonderful scent. Lavender is known for its calming abilities. I also use the oil of geranium to lift any feelings of depression. It doesn’t have to be a shower. A bath might work better for some while a simple foot soak will do for others. Some days, when my migraines were too intense for me to leave my bed, I used a hot towel on my feet to get some circulation and a spa-like feeling of being taken care of.

Sit or stand outside for 5-10 minutes

I can’t walk, exercise or do much physical activity on migraine days and during the postdrome phase due to extreme tiredness. But I do walk onto the patio of our house once the pain and light sensitivity subside. You catch some daylight and fresh air, even if you just sit in the patio chair or stand in your backyard for 5-10 min. Try to focus on any nature around you. Is there a pretty potted flower on your front porch? A nice little tree whose bark you can touch for a few seconds? A windchime chiming in the breeze? Any nature will help make the shift from suffering to relief. It gives perspective and cheers one up.

Summary

My day definitely didn’t go as planned, but I started feeling some distraction from pain around 6am and relief from pain around 7am. I hung out with my daughter as she was getting ready for school which helped me emotionally a lot. Seeing her pick her outfit, eat breakfast and chat with me about her new idea for a business gave me perspective and an immense sense of gratitude for what I have. I then slept for about an hour and woke up feeling tired and weak. That day, I did some light work after lunch for my business. Not super productive but not a complete loss of day either. We used a frozen meal I cooked and froze a week before for the family dinner. The homework was done. Everyone was accounted for and we hit the bed early. Tomorrow I will start over. There is a myriad of strategies available for coping with the emotional impact of migraines. Mindfulness, relaxation techniques, hypnosis, prayer, and seeking support from others are just a few to name. Most of them are free. Find what works best for you! The absolute key is to acknowledge all your emotions that come with migraines and then gently allow them to be there, as a fleeting guest, while you are working on shifting things around. I think of my emotions as a guest who is hard to uninvite to your wedding. Like a challenging mother-in-law or your brother’s new girlfriend who believes you cannot eat a grapefruit without a special grapefruit spoon. Right? In my next posts, I will unpack some more in-depth information about these types of techniques and other methods of coping.