Migraine Stigma: a little girl with a heavy secret

A little girl with a heavy secret….

As the classroom hums with the youthful energy of anticipation, a subtle unease settles over her. This all too familiar unease was born from countless encounters of misunderstood suffering. She, like many others, bears the weight of a hidden battle, concealed behind a mask of resilience.

Migraine, an invisible affliction, mercilessly encroaches upon her days, often met with skepticism, dismissiveness, and distrust. In the school and the corporate world, this silent torment often goes unnoticed, trivialized, or scorned. Migraine stigma is often unseen, but it is very real.

Her sparking slight is dimmed because of these judgments. She puts a mask on to hide her pain and suffering. She learns it is not ok to share this much of herself or at least not that problematic side. She goes through life by keeping her struggle hidden in the closet. And when someone will come along and kindly suggest: “Why don’t you want to open up and share this with your manager/teacher/caregiver etc.?” She will silently think: “Are you crazy!? I will never get the same opportunities or treatment if I do! Look at what happened to Suzie!”

Yet, within the labyrinth of throbbing pain and debilitating nausea, a longing emerges—for empathy, for acceptance, for the solidarity that could turn the tide of stigma and transform the narrative from one of isolation to one of compassion and understanding.

This girl is me 30 years ago, wishing for less judgment and more kindness. This girl is so many of us. She didn’t choose to have a migraine and continues to persevere despite all the challenges this condition throws her way. She yearns for a world where her light can shine unhindered. Where her pain isn’t met with disbelief. This isn’t just her battle. It’s a collective fight against the stigma that shadows the lives of countless migraine warriors.

Stepping up to fight migraine stigma in schools and workplaces

This post just came out onto the page when I sat down to write today. The migraine warrior in me was called to write this post because I would like to encourage everyone to get more educated about migraines. Together, we can be a force of support for those who need it. Just like we start scratching the surface of removing the mental health stigma, there is much work to be done about migraine stigma. So, let us unite and show compassion and kindness toward everyone whose circumstances we don’t know and be slow to conclusions and judgments.

This post is for every little girl and boy who heard this from their teachers and educators: “But she/he looks just fine! They are just trying to get off school by making up a headache!”

This post is for every grown woman and man who overheard an office conversation about a fellow migraine sufferer along the lines of “Weird. It is just a headache…..he/she is probably an alcoholic, or worse, drug seeking!”

This post is for every mother and father who had to deal with a migraine while parenting their sick and feverish baby and still showed up with love, care and nothing but support for their child.

This post is for every legislator who has the power to make better laws for migraine accommodations at work and in school.

This post is for every health insurance company who sent a disability denial letter that said and I quote “…lack of abnormal physical exam findings demonstrating your inability to perform sedentary job duties….” to any migraine patient with any job.

Migraine stigma makes us feel small, it makes us contract! But the simple truth is that we are not less because of migraine! We are in fact so much more. More grateful about the most mundane things like sunshine or a stranger warm smile. More kind toward fellow humans and animals. More patient when dealing with challenges because many of them pale in comparison to a vicious migraine attack. I would rather handle a company growth strategy presentation in front of 5,000 people, thank you. We are sillier and don’t take ourselves to seriously. More aware about how short life really is. And many, many “mores”!

As an Emerging Advocate in Training through the American Migraine Foundation, I encourage you to seek knowledge, educate yourselves about migraines, and extend a hand of support. Together, we can rewrite the narrative, creating a world where empathy triumphs over judgment, and where understanding replaces skepticism.

Here are several wonderful organizations you can join to amplify the voice of advocacy for those suffering from migraine:

1. American Migraine Foundation (AMF): https://americanmigrainefoundation.org/
2. Migraine At Work: https://migraineatwork.org/
3. Migraine at School: https://www.migraineatschool.org/
4. Coalition for Headache and Migraine Patients (CHAMP) Website: https://headachemigraine.org/
5. American Headache Society (AHS) Website: https://americanheadachesociety.org/

Take one simple step in the next week to become the voice for someone whose voice may be silenced by migraine stigma:

Speak up at the School Get-Together or PTA meeting

Next time at the school get-together, bring one of the brochures from Migraine at School to the school principal and ask if they would be open to a discussion about it. Migraine stigma is solved one conversation at a time.

Help a co-worker to get through a migraine day

When someone shares with you that they have a migraine today, ask them what they need to feel better. Refrain from listing out ideas on what they should try. They might just need you to dim the conference room light or simply for a minute to gather their thoughts and take a deep breath.

Be your loved one advocate by learning more from them

If one of your loved ones lives with a migraine, sit down with them and be present for the conversation about what it is like for them to deal with a migraine. It might just bring you so much closer to them.

Together, let us take one small step forward, towards a future free from the shackles of stigma. Together, we can create a world where compassion and understanding prevail, and where every individual, regardless of their migraine journey, can shine their light with unbridled strength and resilience.