Parenting with Migraine: Key Strategies to Succeed, Despite Pain

Parenting with migraine can be very challenging. Knowing key strategies to succeed, despite pain is important before the attack strikes. 

“Mommy! Mommy! Let’s play galloping horses!” screams my 4-year-old awesome and rambunctious daughter. If you have woken up at 4 am with a splitting migraine and wondered how on earth you will be present for your child today, you are not alone!

Parenting with migraine can be taxing in every way. It is emotionally painful when you can’t play or be with your kiddo because the migraine attack is just too intense. Through my journey with finding the right treatments and my faith, I discovered that you can turn even these trying days into an opportunity to get a stronger bond with your kids.

If I had to give my younger self some tips on how to do parenting with migraine, I would say the following:

Talk to your child about your migraine condition and symptoms.

It is so important for them to know that it is not their doing that causes your migraines. They need to feel that you will be ok and not worry about what is happening.

When they are still very young, you can make the explanation very simple.

“Mommy/daddy doesn’t feel well. My head is hurting and my tummy feels sick – kind of like when you felt sick last time, remember? Yeah, kind of like that. You didn’t do anything to cause it.” Then talk to them about what you need and suggest a quieter activity together.

When they get older, you can make it a bit more detailed.

“Mommy/daddy have a condition called migraine that makes my head hurt. It also makes me nauseous and very sensitive to light, smell, and sound. It is something I have to deal with. I have special medications that help me feel better when I have a migraine. You didn’t do anything to cause it. I would like to spend time with you even when I have a migraine. Could we do a quieter play for a little while? Or watch a movie together?”

Make sure your kids know you still want to be with them and engage with them. The risk to avoid is for your kids to feel like it is too much for you to handle time with them and disengage from you. 

Get creative with quiet activities that can be done during the migraine attack.

With some communication and adjustments, parenting with migraine can become an opportunity to connect on a deeper level.

Create a list of quieter play activities that you could do together and still feel connected.

It varies for different ages. When my daughter was younger, we did Play-Doh while I had an active migraine attack. I felt this activity not only allowed her to continue to spend time with me but also helped me take my mind off the pain. We had some very great mother-daughter conversations during that time. 

Here are some ideas to consider:

• Arts and crafts that could be done on the floor or at the table. My child and I did paintings, drawing, play-doh figures, decorating a jewelry box with rhinestones/stickers, board games, and short walks if I felt good enough for it.
• Any activity that could be turned into a special low-key time – like movie night, picnic on the floor with a blanket and some easy snacks, reading to each other. One of the most amazing things that happened to me was when my daughter offered to read to me during my migraine attack. I enjoyed it so much and she felt like she was helping me. We ended up talking about the book for a while after she read it. By then my pain started to subside and I felt I could get back to a more regular flow of the day.

Prepare the migraine attack readiness plan

There were definitely days when all of the above was impossible because my migraine attack was too intense to make the smallest move. On those days, I had to lie down and get rest while my child played next to me or watched a cartoon. I felt guilty at first, but I learned to let go of that feeling and focus on getting prepared.

Freeze-ready meals.

Have enough frozen ready food for at least 6 meals. This could go a long way if your migraine attack lasts more than a day. I usually freeze some of my white bean soup, enchiladas, and baked pasta with chicken.

Establish Rescue Pal(s).

I was a single mom for a while and didn’t have the luxury of another helping parent. This is why I established a rescue pal system of friends or family who could help on the worst migraine attack days. Create your own network of family and friends that you can ask for assistance.

Discuss with them ahead of time what you might need and how they can help. Simple things like getting your child to and from school, a couple of hours of rest time, and a pharmacy run could be life-saving when you are parenting with a migraine. When one of my Rescue Pals helped me during the attack, I made sure to repay the favor later by helping with one of their kids too.

Prepare as many things as you can ahead of time.

Like outfits for the next day, school lunches, and special project supplies for school. A lot of my migraine attacks happen in the early morning, so I thought my daughter to prepare things together with me the evening prior. Use this as an opportunity to teach your kids independence.

Have your rescue kit ready to go! 

You need to make sure that all your essential medications are always nearby and ready. I carry mine in my purse and some in the car. I also have them near my night bedstand to make sure I can take them even if I can’t get out of bed from the pain. 

I also recommend having a natural remedy kit on standby, to be used at first signs of a migraine. If we ward it off early enough, it may not develop into a full-blown attack. Here is a basic migraine rescue kit containing some anti-nausea remedy, a roll-on for pain, and a natural supplement for migraine pain relief. 

Conclusion

Here is a final thought though: Kids’ job is to be kids! So, on days when you feel well, do something active that your child enjoys or asks for. Do it with no distractions! No phone around. Just you and your kiddo, playing galloping horses or kicking the ball together.